Short Term Memory Loss & The Will to Live

I’ve always been one for trying to put the cart before the horse but I will try to keep this in as reverse chronological order as possible since that is the way that I began it.

Forgive me in advance for jumping around from incident to incident or not staying on topic.   My excuse is that I don’t have a short term memory  due to my tbi so I want to write things down before I forget them.   Short term and immediate memory loss are both the results of my traumatic brain injury. Definitions: http://www.tbiguide.com/memory.html

Blog Purpose :   Treat me like you've always treated me. "I am Me"

I am me – My family, friends and boyfriend told me “You’re not the same  “fill in  my name here”. So how could I ever begin healing? If they were saying I wasn’t the same person....that I wasn't "me" when I came off of life support, out of the coma and off of the drug induced coma how was I going to convince them that I was? They were saying things to me like “Oh, you just think you’re the same, it’s a  side effect of the brain injury” I would say back to them “No, I really am me”  I would also say, “ I’m fine” they would say no “you just think that you are”.  This led to much frustration on my part and still does to this very day.  I'm a kinder me now, I don't anger as easily and I pray more.  I also don't drink any alcohol which I did do before. But let me say here that I was a nice person pre-accident.  I just don't get it. 

With the above said I don’t want readers to think that I didn’t have the most supportive network of family and friends around me at that time and following.  What everyone did for me was astounding! Beginning with my daughters.  They gave me my “WILL TO LIVE”.  I knew that I loved my daughters but I didn’t know until after  my accident how incredibly “in love” with them I was. By this I mean,  I found out that I  needed to live, to love, care, protect, provide and keep every promise that I had  ever made to them. Beginning with the biggest promise I had made prior to my accident. That promise was that I was going  to drive them 8 hours to  the beach that summer.

 The will to live for someone  other than yourself is the greatest gift that God can ever give a person and I thank God today and everyday for my 2 gifts that inspired  and willed me to live. Literally they willed me to walk out of that hospital on my own and drive them to the beach that summer!  As my youngest would say “Mom, a promise is a promise.  I kept my promise to my inspirations.  My two daughters and Gods grace saved me.