Short Term Memory Loss & The Will to Live

I’ve always been one for trying to put the cart before the horse but I will try to keep this in as reverse chronological order as possible since that is the way that I began it.

Forgive me in advance for jumping around from incident to incident or not staying on topic.   My excuse is that I don’t have a short term memory  due to my tbi so I want to write things down before I forget them.   Short term and immediate memory loss are both the results of my traumatic brain injury. Definitions: http://www.tbiguide.com/memory.html

Blog Purpose :   Treat me like you've always treated me. "I am Me"

I am me – My family, friends and boyfriend told me “You’re not the same  “fill in  my name here”. So how could I ever begin healing? If they were saying I wasn’t the same person....that I wasn't "me" when I came off of life support, out of the coma and off of the drug induced coma how was I going to convince them that I was? They were saying things to me like “Oh, you just think you’re the same, it’s a  side effect of the brain injury” I would say back to them “No, I really am me”  I would also say, “ I’m fine” they would say no “you just think that you are”.  This led to much frustration on my part and still does to this very day.  I'm a kinder me now, I don't anger as easily and I pray more.  I also don't drink any alcohol which I did do before. But let me say here that I was a nice person pre-accident.  I just don't get it. 

With the above said I don’t want readers to think that I didn’t have the most supportive network of family and friends around me at that time and following.  What everyone did for me was astounding! Beginning with my daughters.  They gave me my “WILL TO LIVE”.  I knew that I loved my daughters but I didn’t know until after  my accident how incredibly “in love” with them I was. By this I mean,  I found out that I  needed to live, to love, care, protect, provide and keep every promise that I had  ever made to them. Beginning with the biggest promise I had made prior to my accident. That promise was that I was going  to drive them 8 hours to  the beach that summer.

 The will to live for someone  other than yourself is the greatest gift that God can ever give a person and I thank God today and everyday for my 2 gifts that inspired  and willed me to live. Literally they willed me to walk out of that hospital on my own and drive them to the beach that summer!  As my youngest would say “Mom, a promise is a promise.  I kept my promise to my inspirations.  My two daughters and Gods grace saved me.

Just a quick note;-)

                If you are starting to read my blog and I'm glad that you are. Make sure that you start at the end which is the beginning not the end.  Thank you for reading and I hope that you take something away from my experience.  Search Amazon.com for experience

Helmet Safety and TBI Books

Helmet Safety 

In reading back over my posts, I realize that I contradicted myself. With that said I mean that I call myself “stupid” when I clearly state in the title that I do not consider myself

that at all.    Clearly stated I didn’t wear a helmet on the day of my accident. (so I was stupid pre-accident not after).  Not wearing my helmet  was the stupidest thing that I’ve ever done in my life.  Even if you are only riding your ATV to the mail box put that helmet on your head and strap it tight!   Wear a helmet for riding bicycles, skate boards,  scooters, motorcycles anything that will cause a jolt to your brain if you fall.    Adults listen to to this and make your children wear helmets  no matter what their age and you as adults must wear helmets too.  Yes even on your ATV’s.  

 What I saw while living  in FL was awful. Adults were holding baby’s/toddlers on their laps in ATV while they were mud bogging!  They need to get a babysitter for these children! ATV riding is not for babies it is an adult sport and can be a dangerous one at that.  I am not an alarmist but common sense and rules need to be followed.   Hundreds of people are injured or die every year from ATV accidents due to ignorance and or laziness.   Don’t let this happen to you or your loved one.  Prevention is the key.  Put your helmet on and make them wear theirs.   

Chances are pretty good that a helmet would have changed my life forever.  A helmet may have prevented me from losing the right part of my temporal lobe of my brain. That is what the neurosurgeon had to remove surgically after I had been flown to the hospital.  He said that I tried to kill my brain and then it tried to kill me by swelling.  I had many other injuries in addition to this one  but this was the biggest and most life altering. 

I have not read these yet but they're on my "To Do" list:

TBI Hell: A Traumatic Brain Injury Really Sucks110cc Four Wheelers 6" Tires Atvs, Spider Black

21st Century Veterans Health: Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) VA Independent Study Course and Additional Material - Cognitive Problems, Living with TBI, Family Impact, Treatment

Iamme.tbisurvivor

                  I have no memory of May 23, 2003 but it will remain one of the most memorable incidents in my life. The incidents that happened on that day and the days following were to change who and what  people thought I was. Everything was never to be the same for me again as I had come to know them in my thirty-eight years of living because at that moment for only a brief time. I had stopped….living that is.

                   I didn’t know that at the time because I was unconscious. The crash was in the evening on a 4-wheeler and I was the passenger and was not wearing a helmet.  The paramedics arrived and began  apparently their rescue efforts.  I had a  a closed head injury among many other less severe life threatening injuries.  I don’t think that they knew this at the time but they did all of the right things in addition to their quick response.  They saved my life. Their quick response and stabilization of my head, neck, back, arms and legs kept me from thrashing.  I was told that I became conscious at some point during their treatment and they had to stabilize me to prevent me from causing myself more harm.

Blogger Topics

• Helmet Safety and TBI Books
• ATV accident May 2003 - I'm permanetly disabled
• TBI - Hospital patient treatment

MY ATV(quad runners) or 4 wheelers crash -Now I'm Disabled

              This blog's purpose:
                                   
                                  to generate more awareness  of need for helmets when riding ATV's
                                 
                                  to tell how dangerous ATV'S can be        
                                                      
                                 how to  recognize the difference between a disablitiy and lack of 
                                 intelligence

ATV accident May 2003 - I'm permanetly disabled

             May 2003 -- I was young, happy, in love and stupid.  I was not on drugs or drinking alcohol.  I was a passenger on an all terrain vehicle,  a quad-ruuner a (4-wheeler) Polaris. No matter what you call it, it's a motorized vehicle in the state of PA and should be treated with the respect that it deserves. We were  out for a leisurely "ride" but what happened was anything but leisurely.  Unfortunately or fortunately, I don't remember what happened only what I was told. This is the story that the person driving the ATV told me.

 Apparently his ball cap blew off of his head while he was driving the vehicle and he let go of the handlebars to grab it.  Reaching back over his shoulder and not looking where he was going he attempted to grab for his cap. Just long enough for us to  have the horrible crash. This one second would inevitably change my life forever. No, I wasn't wearing a helmet. We were "just going for a ride"...